The next morning she woke up and asked who I was and where she was.
I just passed one of the bars and saw my mom kissing another woman. This can't be good....right?
Knowing your life, probably not.
woke up and she was making me crepes. definitely not the last time i fuck a culinary student
It's been over a month and I still can't find the bra I wore out on new years eve.
A guy just tried to send me a pic of his penis & my phone sent me a disclaimer saying "the components were unsuitable for your terminal"
Even your phone knows you shouldn't sleep with him...
just fed a duck at the lake a weed brownie. it hasnt moved in 20 minutes.
It'll be like a meth lab. But with jello.
We fucked to techno music while he wore shin guards... best sex ever.
I'm at the bar alone. Is this how you feel?
We shall study the pictures later and see if his penis is worth my time.
I live vicariously through you. No one mistakes me for a hooker anymore. I look like a stay at home mom of three. On bad days of four.
Spider-Man is making out with Wonder Woman while Captain Kirk feels up Princess Lea. Nice to see nerd barriers broken down at Comic Con.
Ehhh, contemplating pain killers and fruit snacks if that's any indication.
Just an FYI you do have to wear pants to lunch
I can feel the shame as I walk down your hallway.. good night
Randomize
