i really wish my pants would only unzip when im sober
On the way home from Florida I threw up at the beginning border and ending border of 6 states. You win this year Spring Break.
ok, she started talking about how she swears her step dad killed her mom. starting to back out of this one
You spent most of the night crying and throwing leftover meatballs at the neighbors dogs
You said that "grilled cheese was much to complex" and started to throw the buttered bread at the wall while eating all the cheese.
You had your shirt off checking IDs at the door and you don't even work there
He thought my hair would soak it up. I HAD TO CUT IT OFF.
You are a piece of meat with a side of awesome to me.
the cops are being surprisingly chill about david hanging from a tree with no pants.
It's not too terrible. You just got a little naked and broke your arm.
My hungover walk of shame was interrupted by a stranger on a balcony throwing me a beer to shotgun... at 10 a.m....
we fucked and then he hand fed me a hot pocket
You gotta do what you gotta do. Like how I gotta drive in the rain to go get chicken nuggets. I just gotta.
Holy shit dude........stairs
You laid on the floor and pet their rug. and then demanded Voss water.
Randomize
