Dude ... paraplegic porn is really creative..
Is your delayed response due to the massive amount of judging going on?
I'm thinking we should try to start remembering stuff we do. Althought I kinda like feeling like Nancy Drew the next morning.
More like the Hardy Boys cause its kinda like a team effort.
"Not only do I bring a guy back to my hotel room....But I bring one back for my friend who's passed out drunk. Now that's what we call BESTfriends"
Nope it's him. He's whispering to himself and buying asparagus.
Just got an email from TMobile. Said they were going to pursue "more qualified" candidates. So this is what rock bottom feels like.
he described going down on me as being like 'entering a jungle of deliciousness and fur
Is it a step in the wrong direction to ask my parents for a kegerator for graduation?
If we ever start off with margaritas for breakfast and end up naked covered in olive oil...I could think of worse ways to spend a day.
other than the jail part I had a really good time with you
Be proud. You give fat lesbians everywhere shower-nozzle worthy material for weeks on end.
Some older looking guy gave me his card as he exited the train. Hes a pharmaceutical rep. I'm debating asking him for a job. Obv he wants sex but if I can get a job out of this maybe I can offer him more than a cheap dry handjob bc that's all I'm really up for these days
I told her I had a small penis. Then replied if Peter Pan won with a dagger then so can I
I have 3 bottles of vodka in my room telling me not to go to work tomorrow.
Y'all let us switch shirts in the middle of 200 people....why did you let me get this drunk by noon?
Randomize
