is it bad that i shorted Freddie Mac immediatly after I heard about the CFO?
I know they r crazy. However porn on a big screen is an easy commitment. They come with mute, stop, fast fwd and replay buttons. if only all women came that way...
my coke dealer is running a Black Friday special
Honestly, I don't care whether it was a guy or a girl. Best blowjob ever.
I'll just tell her I'm here with you picking out a buttplug for her to say "I'm sorry".
Dude he's the best wing man ever. He starts creepin' on a woman, and she clings on to you out of fear.
Some guy offered you 100 bucks last night to suck your toes. I had to drag you away while you were yelling at me, "Stop money cock blocking me!"
That's just where I'm at in my life.
her tits were more amazing then brown bears with armor and guns that fire bullets of Justice that destroys inequality.
The guys are trying to figure out my orientation....think theyve settled on "drunksexual"
I'm pretty sure male strippers are the last things I need in my life right now.
Eh, I don't question what my penis likes. It just does what it does.
Just because I stayed up all night betting on Australian Horse Racing doesn't mean I have a gambling program.
Woke up from a black out in a strangers Jeep without phone, shoes, or wallet.
She was going down on me before I had a chance to tell her I arrested her brother 3 hours earlier
I'm hung over and my mom made me go to church. I feel like such a sinner.
I need an aspirin and some dignity.
Randomize
