Remember that night when i almost got you arrested? Is that funny yet?
She actually asked me 'is it in yet?' I deleted the vid.
all I know is he gave me a Cialis and tried to take me home.
Does anyone know who that girl who fell backwards and broke the shoe rack with her head was?
I feel like I just walked the hall of shame thru the marriott. Everyone stared.
I think it was the shoes and limping. Not the sex. I could b wrong.
After all the hair products he's stolen from me, he better fucking be gay.
I think I will be cutting those pills in half...Jesus just tried to sell me a toothbrush.
Mistake of the day: loudly discussing my gay hookups on the phone at the dmv in upstate NY... this must be what leprosy feels like
Oh my god I peed in a park last night and then tried to set off fireworks with a group of middle-aged men
I accidentally KO'd a baby in the airport. Thought you should know.
I vaguely recall putting a toaster in the freezer.
i don't think i have enough personality to make it through this date sober.
Sometimes intelligent conversation doesn't mix well with a romantic interest. It's possible the two are best kept separate. Toys should just stay in the toy box.
I'm giving drunk me full control of my body for the next few days. Please don't let me die.
This is either going to be a hilarious catfish or the fuck trophy of the century.
Randomize
