i seriously hope you fucking die....you are the worst.
SHit! Sorry, sent to wrong person
Should I hook up with a slut its your call
Yes. Wrap it. If you dont have a condom do it anyway. YOU ONLY LIVE ONCE.
Hot mess moment: I just made really spicy guac and picked my nose, which set it on fire. I tried to neti pot it with a coffee pot, which resulted in me gagging and puking all over my bf's bathroom. oopsie.
It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
I have a ginormous moral hangover. Strip club blues.
Just saw a half naked, drunk, 6th grade math teacher throwing small children around to the Titanic soundtrack.
What kind of wedding is this and why wasn't I invited
I'm being fed tequila grapes by a girl on stilts...
There should be a rule. If your dick is under 6 inches, you are not allowed to dress as Thor.
I should start wearing my Batman shirt more often when I drink. Good things happen. All sorts of shit.
apparently my new 420 ritual is to look at the clock at 4:20 and realize i'm already too high
You put me in such a good mood with that road head, I bought everyone at Hooters donuts.
Reminding you of hookups your brain is trying to suppress. That's what friends are fooooooooor...
He responded to all of my texts prodding for dirty talk with "I will do anything you are comfortable with."\n\nChivalry is great, but being comfortable doesn't get me wet.
help. there is a guy in a bunny costume.
Fuck. Totally just had sex instead of studying for econ test in an hour. Gonna get fucked again. HELP ME WITH YOUR EXTENSIVE KNOWLEDGE OF ECON
Randomize