Idk man, it felt like my skin was a suit and I could feel it zipping up my side and up to my mouth. And then my head felt like a ventriloquist dummy's head, with the jaw thing..it was freaky, dude
You think that's a metaphor for anything, champ?
Shut the hell up.
he ate 15 dinner rolls and nothing else. then took a shit in the bathroom came out and blamed it on his dad. i wish i was 8.
He kept saying that the puke outside the theater wasn't his and it was all a set up to keep him from partying with the whores. Then he passed out on the sidewalk.
She said she couldn't find my penis because my arm was in the way. That was my penis
Every man deserves at least one moment like that
He said to me this morning that we should finish these beers, go and get plan B then on the way back, go to the pub to celebrate the death of our baby. I love Manchester.
She was like the Rudy of blow jobs... SO much effort into it
This is davidson friend mat i an drunk. Thank you for having a physical relationship. With David. I bet he gas a penis the size of an elephant tusk. You are a lucky lady.
The next time i black out make sure i remove the ping pong balls from my weave. Especially before my first day of classes.
In your drunken glory you promised me, tongue, 12 naked pics, and 1,800 breakfasts.
You are the tramp this city needs, but not the one it deserves.
I never notice how majestic and beautiful my cat is unless I'm blazed
She left a blunt and poutine on my nightstand with a note saying "went to the gym. be ready for round three when I get back" I love Canadian chicks
Honestly who turns down a free blowjob?
Please don't fuck the professor. We both know that won't end well.
I think it's time for tequila and I to go our separate ways
Randomize
