So I think we're almost at the age where we should start calling boys men. Now what age do they start living up to the new title?
Most never. Some around 65.
Have you not heard of Jennifer's supreme lust for William Shatner? She wants to eat Taco Bell off of his love handles
Swear to god this chicks brother got let out of jail for the weekend for the sole purpose of cock blocking me
Whatever. He's going to tie me up tonight whether he wants to or not.
We talk about tequila and blow jobs the way that normal people talk about the news and the weather.
Tell him I'm the girl who was excited he spoke English. Then ask him where he picked me up from.
WE'RE FINALLY ADMITTING THAT WE DESPERATELY WANT TO SCREW EACH OTHER. THIS IS WHAT PROGRESS FEELS
Woke up the day after the party with a bruise on my stomach. Pretty sure my liver was trying to escape for fear of it's life.
I tripped while walking across the stage and while trying to pick my diploma back up my flask fell out in front of the dean
Prop 8 repealed and I FINALLY got my period. Good day for America!!!
Oh I'm definitely going to hit on her, there's no question about that. What I meant by playing it cool is I'm not going to mount her on sight.
You drunkenly promised dick pics on your way out the door and then never delivered. I don't know how I'll ever be able to trust you again.
I felt the need to set off fireworks in the living room while they were having sex upstairs. Yes, they quieted down.
I hate waking up to a room that reeks of bad decisions...
I ate at the cafeteria for the first time yesterday and today I think I had an hour long fart.
Randomize
