I want to see a picture of the girl worth ruining our relationship for
I'm so high, I forgot to harvest my farmville crops....noooooooo.
Worst stoner tragedy.
you started whispering 'the itsy bitsy spider' while you were putting your hands up my shorts.
he got his own cum in his own eye. TWICE. how do you make that mistake again?
Id like to know where dora the explorers parents are when she goes on all these crazy ass adventures
I wish a night of watching Dear John and a bottle of wine could cure my herpes.
just saw a former disney star do a keg stand. her life choices have improved.
For future reference, the words 'big' and 'problem' should be used sparingly with a person whom you have recently had copious amounts of unprotected sex
And then she apologized after the blow job for being too sick to deep throat. I'm in love..
She's just done the monthly not prego dance around our kitchen
Look. If you get me out of this speeding ticket you can bang my sister. Or my mom. But not both.
I put chex mix in your purse for when you get hungry while doing your walk of shame tomorrow!
Any time you've had a failed relationship, I blast No Sex for Ben by The Rapture and dance around my room. I wish I was joking.
I have bruises from doing the splits on the poles, if that doesn't scream bourbon street regret then I don't know what does
Your the only person to come back from spring break with a non std related infection
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