ppl dont tell me stories about anal. apparently im not a tell-me-stories-about-anal kind of person
i think it would be like really awesome if scientist could genetically engineer manatees to be like the size of goldfish so i could have one in my fishbowl and be like FUCK YEAH TINY MANATEE
I searched the house and found a small bottle of sherry which is probably as old as I am, has prob gone off and tastes like shit. I don't care any more. It has come to this.
The last thing I remember is stabbing him with his diabetes medicine
There was a note in my hello kitty underwear telling me "don't go over 9000"
I got called a drunken housewife today in class. I'm proud, not many people can say they've achieved their life goals like I have by the time they turn 20
Why i have shady connections. Owner just txt me asking to come by and judge the new stripper.
I remember seeing his penis I just dont know exactly what I did with it
Holy shit there is too much Taco Bell here to talk to you
Oh my god, I totally forgot we call your penis "Godzilla's Tail".
So apparently they remodeled our middle school. Looks like we'll need to find a new roof to play beer pong on this summer.
...and that is the first time I've ever wished fewer naked women on someone I like.
Would seriously like to slash his tires but then I feel like I'd have to deal with him longer.
You would critique a dick pic. Damn art people.
I feel asleep with my contacts in, with my arms wrapped around a bottle of vodka. Also... Do we have class today?
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