things that need to be invented #43: vodka that also acts as birth control.
hey, i'm all for honesty but let's not get carried away
then he tried to tell me how many times he had seen Scott's dick. his estimate was about 180 times. he thought I didn't understand.
He was like a foghorn with a huge penis.
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
You probably don't remember this but last night I bought you a lap dance from a stripper that had nipples that looked like runny eggs....you're welcome.
I just called him "young grasshopper" in a conversation. THIS is why I don't get numbers when I'm sober
I'm doing shots of jagger in dixi cups and making a lesson plan for my 8th grader summer school class. My life is so close to adulthood I can taste it
He wanted me to strip for him. I told him that we aren't at that serious of a fuck buddy relationship yet
You woke up butt naked, peed yourself said something about jumbo shrimp, and passed back out 10 seconds ltr..
He broke his arm in a fistfight with the bouncer. it was neat.
So was it everything you dreamed it would be
I puked.
Twice.
So is that a yes?
let me wake up, find my pants, and find out where i am tommorow and ill get back to you on that
I'm in the upstairs bathroom. I went to the bathroom after class and realized this is not a shit I want to have publicly. I ran home. We can go to lunch, just give me a min
Just used a NyQuil cup to take a shot. This night is headed nowhere good.
Randomize
