My roommate got wasted last night and went to the 24 hour Bally's Total Fitness at 3 A.M. He got back took his shirt off, made a protein shake, puked, asked me if he was almost as jacked as Ronnie Coleman then called ME gay before I could say anything and went to bed
I wonder if u can grow weed on Framville and sell it to Mafia Wars?
he burped in my vagina and tried to deny it...
i thought i'd fucked her to death. no lie. she just stopped moving.
Don't know how I even got in. I pulled my id out and threw it at the bouncer, and he just picked it up, checked it, and let me in.
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
I don't know if I should be scared or excited that I can officially drink vodka on the rocks like it's 7up.
He kept calling my vagina a magic clam, and it was speaking to him, telling him to feed it his penis. I played along.
I can't believe he just friend zoned me like that.
Dude, you're not even gay.
I woke up in a bath tub and my face was sore and it wasn't because of you, I was impressed
Anyway, it's clearly a shapeshifting vagina/AT-AT, which I never said I was SEXUALLY attracted to. Just that I liked it.
I forgot to tell you that he serenaded me with "Fuck Her Gently" by Tenacious D. And I didn't hate it.
We went from him going down on me to swapping baby pictures of our moms.
By talk things out did he mean have passionate angry sex?
Things could not have gone more poorly if I had stripped naked and run through the Sahara with sirloins tied to my vagina.
Randomize
