how was your night?
well, i just purchased 'sorry for being a drunk whore' cupcakes. how do you think my night was?
You taught me that having a dip while u shit is awesome. I appreciate u for that
no ping pong balls so we're playing beer pong with an ornament. you can't tell me that's not festive.
he kept asking me if i had been in a pool or a lake recently, i didnt want to say i know where the swimmers ear came from. shower sex.
we used a swiffer mop as a stripper pole.
But she tried her best to break my penis, so she has a few free passes with me
mallory made a planned parenthood decision maker flow chart again.
its like i had a thought but i dont know what the words are for it
Is it normal that every guy I hook up with tells me my hair is sexy as it's happening? Like that can't be normal
I'm sorry if you weren't drunk enough to be peer pressured into the naked dancing/group make out that transpired last night
Please don't tell me that blonde guys name is Matthew I won't be able to fuck a guy with my brothers name
dude, last night I won a real sword and a bottle of vodka in a cards against humanity tournament
There is a time and place for BDSM, in-between disney sing-alongs is not one of them.
she walked up to me at the bar, kissed me, andthen declared "I HAVEN'T SEEN YOU OR YOUR PENIS SINCE 2011."
You've changed since you got that strap on
Randomize
