I won a flip cup tournbment! Why is boot and rally so hard when youre old?
I'm taking a dump and eating a fortune cookie and it said "Force it to be successful"
The is a pregnant woman in this Chipolte wearing a shirt that simply says ‘OOPS!’ across the tummy.
That baby is bound to be under-loved.
Day 5 without masturbation. Fat chicks are back on the table
why does my status of facebook already read REHAB 2011
I think it's safe to say taking shots on the way to the emergency room was rock bottom. We're going to need to think of ways to top that between now and next new years eve...
why is there a fishing net hanging from my ceiling fan?
It's not a good hook up if during you're thinking "how will this damage me psychologically"
Starting the weekend with a pair of pants on which the zipper wont stay up. Is this a sign of things to come??
I've never been more scared for my virginity in my life. And I lost my virginity almost 6 years ago.
I bet Billy Ray Cyrus wishes he had pulled out now....
A check for $9 that I used to buy six boxes of Girl Scout cookies bounced. I think I've hit a new low.
She moved all of her stuff out while we were gone. Shit in the toilet, and didn’t flush. So yeah it went well.
This is a life or shit situation. Grab me toilet paper asap. This bathroom is fucking out. This is not a test. This an actual emergency and I am not joking.
Whats spookier? Halloween or waking up to a drunk text from your ex telling you how awesome you are at 2am
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