I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
I mean I'm basically single. Or maybe just an asshole. Either way.
she just walked in and said "well, I got peed on again"...
once you have herpes you dont really care what goes in your mouth anymore.
I saw a 60 yr old mans penis last night. Just for the record.
Yeah dude, it's amazing. Be careful though, that shit is really really intense. Like it's way more intense than normal shit...
I took two and feel like crushed diamonds spread over glazing marmalade
I came out, you were peeing on the car and when I asked why you said it deserved it because its a rental
Just walked into a random hotel for the free breakfast. How was your night?
I think I just cured my dogs munchies
No one parties "Full Karen". She once broke a couple up at the bar, ate the girl out in the bathroom and took the guy home.
AMERICA LOVES YOU. RIDE THAT DICK LIKE PAUL REVERE RODE HIS HORSE SO MANY YEARS AGO
The fact that we all screamed by Felicia to a bitch actually named Felicia will be a highlight of my life
But we made up last night and had unbelievably crazy sex tonight. I legit went blind for like 15mins from him choking me. It was awesome
you have to get here a cop came into the bar and she looks like Sarah Palin. I think I'm gonna try and bang her
It’s just a penis. It’s like every other penis except it’s not the one you’re married to. Ride it or don’t ride it, but don’t agonize about it
Your not going to hell because you need some strange and the neighbor noticed you look damn good in a bikini
Randomize
