It would be celebrated in history as "the orgasm heard round the world"
I just sent you a google doc listing all the reasons why I should stop hooking up with him. Feel free to add to it.
As the guy I'm having sex with on the side I shouldn't ask you how to dump my boyfriend. But you are the most emotionally detached person I know.
I know. I know. The man who pulled me from my mother's womb was the same man who had his fingers in my vagina today. My life is a joke. I don't know how to feel about this.
WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WE'RE WATCHING BIRTHING VIDEOS!!!!
I'm sorry, our booty call lines closed at 2 am. If you are receiving this message it is our off hours. Please try again between the hours of 12pm and 2 am to reschedule your booty call. Thank you for your cooperation.
Well there is another shower in Nov. So I have three months to figure out how to get some drunk space fucking. May need some of your mead
I'm your Election Erection Connection
I retroactively revoke all sex we've ever had.
Had sex with one of the guys from Ireland. Celebrating st pattys early.
I told her my blood type was O Positive and we started making out. Bio majors are weird.
Good, be his mentor. Like a tiny gay Yoda.
Speaking of, what are you doing next weekend? I'm going to a rope bondage seminar and may need a partner if my date bails.
You've discovered your super power: Your Vagina
so we have roughly decided that hes the dude all the chicks will bang in college, just so he will do their term papers
About that photo of the cake you just sent. You do realize it’s on a glass table, right? We can all see your reflection in it, and you’re very obviously naked.
Randomize
