You should have seen k-money last night. She was just hanging on to the toilet for half the night. By her fourth trip to puke, she started talking to it and was doing the voices for her and it. She kept saying "...we thank you for your continued business..." haha
we usually just have an Easter beer hunt and never end up at church anyways
So just to get a feel for things...how prone are you to male Amish strippers...
She came to college a virgin and left on court order. We ruined her.
1. Sorry about making it snow. 2. If it left a mess, I will be over to clean it. 3. Can that fire extinguisher still be used? If not, I'll buy a new one. 4. I just wanted to make it snow!
There was definitely a significant amount of cookie dough in my bra
THIS TIME TOMORROW MY VAG IS GONNA BE BRAND SPANKING NEW.
Have you SEEN his girlfriend?? Or talked to her? Christ almighty I'd drink every day just to die let alone black out
This Pinterest wedding planning is a good distraction. I'm great at this, my imaginary wedding is beautiful
I found myself looking up beard accounts while masturbating, I guess that's what it's come to.
I wouldn't be able to live with myself if I blew a Trump supporter.
I woke up to him crying and pouring pixy stix in my mouth saying they would bring me back to life.
My uterus just tried to get me to buy a tub of cookie dough
I am at a cat party and I just witnessed people lapping vodka out of a bowl for a contest. Lol
you've already made the comitment to pee in public you should at least whip your dick out
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