I'm not a mortal combat character
but my vagina is
dude you have to find out what a girl's name is before you sleep with her. if her name is debbie she's boring, if her name is lauren she's an overrated hoebag, if her name is meagan she gived bad head.
ahh summer, the season during which the prefix for every verb is "get drunk and"
i have a strong feeling i fucked one of the waiters here...
I'm so proud of your ability to turn my Charlie horse last night into anal sex.
Aren't you glad we're at the point in our relationship where I don't even ask why you're hiding in the cabinet?
Idea for the cake. Joints for candles. Do it.
I'm soaked in champagne. I'm eating oatmeal from mcdonalds tonight was glorious
I'm in the room..It's full of lost souls and sadness. I can taste the salt of their tears. This final might take a few freshman today..
Dude that's beautiful. I've never heard of someone smoking with their bunny.
I feel like I have a connection with him. A marijuana-induced-spiritual connection.
Is cat milk safe for human consumption?
Stormed out of the house in frustration and now I'm in public and have to take a rage dump. Today sucks.
New rule: if you don't think racism exists, you don't get to put your penis inside me.
how did you set a fucking salad on fire????????
He agreed to matching Christmas pajamas today, no guy does that for a girl he’s not seriously considering marrying.
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