Is she bent over a couch yet or did daylight savings time throw off her usual schedule?
I don't want to eat him, he probably tastes terrible.
I was just referred to as 'the margarita slut' by an 11 year old.
Theres been so much buildup for our genitals to meet, one or both of us is sure to be disappointed.
After walking in on us in the living room, he still insisted that he slept in my bed with me afterwards.
Do you remember calling yourself Captain Cockblock and openly giving out everyones sexual history? Because you did.
He sent me a picture of his dick earlier so now we can all laugh at him tomorrow
Do to my newly discovered condition I'm having to resort to emergency beat sessions to avoid the temptation to text girls I know are easy slams.
That's right. I did.
You are the saddest 25 year old gay man I've ever had the displeasure of knowing.
THE HALLOWEEN QUEST WILL BE PICS OF US IN OUR COSTUMES IN EXCHANGE FOR DICK PICS. IT HAS BEEN DECIDED.
My day went from bad to worse when I realized I puked out my second floor window last night.
That jawline could fucking have its way with me.
How ya feelin' champ?
Like a million bucks that was soaked in alcohol.
no no no no you can't just say your dirtiest secret is "i sat on goldfish by accident once" and just leave i have QUESTIONS
AT LEAST TELL ME IF THE GOLDFISH WAS STILL IN A BOWL??????????????
Only you would try street racing in a Volvo.
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