I had a good time, probably would have a bigger headache today if you were in town.
When I told my boss I'm using a vacation day for 4/20, he gave me his personal cell phone number and winked at me.
I'm thinking about that time I was in a trashbag and you spray painted my hair yellow
My roommate threw his shoe through our window and I came out of my blackout kicking holes in my wall. Pretty sure Edward 80 Hands won't be happening anymore.
He makes me wish my vagina was bigger... This must be what love feels like.
I tried to convince the Lobo Card people to take my pic with my sunglasses on because I will probably always be this hungover.
Just saw a couple chasing each other on lawn mowers. Oh South Knoxville.
After what I experienced at 6am this morning, all I can say is chew your noodles thoroughly.
Tried to put an eye patch on while hooking up with a girl. She was not amused.
would it be uncouth to smoke a joint during office hours
This is why you're my favorite TA
He has a burner phone just to send dick pics. It's revolutionary
So there is a 50% chance that he just left my house and a 100% chance that I have to be up for work in 2 hours...
thanks for passing me through your vagina 20 years ago today. your the best
Nothing like an afternoon walk of shame across campus on parent's weekend. Damn.
Oh, do you remember telling everyone you were with that your vagina was angry last night?
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