there is a large number of people floating in the fountains the morning in inter-tubes...its only 930. did i miss something?
he broke up with me while standing outside, half naked, waiting to fuck him. i feel like a leper right about now.
I swear if it wasn't for meeting for drug dealers @ gas stations, i would never remember to get gas.
So half of us were already throwing up outside when the Ukrainians ask us if we're ready to start partying yet. I love this country.
I have major gossip for you.
Oh no, did you have sex last night?
If I had sex last night I'd probably post it on facebook. It's been that long and I'd be that excited.
passed out in the hallway last night, now I'm sitting down in the shower, eating lukewarm canned soup out of Tupperware, listening to Carly rae jepsen.. I had a rough night.
There's a naked man in my car right now.
I would have cried, probably tears of wine, but cried nonetheless.
In other news I may have fractured my masturbating arm
At least it wasn't your drinking arm
No. We can't get pedicures until my toenails grow back.
I'm just waking up. I awoke in a towel (I must have showered at some point),i also found a half eaten McChicken in my bed and vomit in the toilet. Seems like I'm winning at life
I have successfully trained your dog to bring me pudding cups!
Think i may just have managed the saddest high-five in history. Finished a sudoku and high-fived myself, then looked around for somebody to high five. there was noone. forever alone.
you tried to fight the cop who was busting the party, you said you had a constitutional right to do a keg stand...
No one can touch me, I'm made of fruit.
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