And that's when he stuck his finger up his own ass to prove it would feel good...
HAH. HARRY POTTER CASUAL CONVO HAS BEEN EXTENDED TO DISCUSSING WEATHER. SO PRO
she said if I bought her franzia she would blow me, and she would fuck me if I splurged on martini and rossi. Franzia it is
I was about to watch some really classy porn. Title was ravenous for dick. I didnt know pornstars knew ravenous was a word.
i think it was just a coincidence but she literally vomited the second she saw my penis.
I really should sober up and deal with this hangover
It seems to be one of those life decisions I'm perfectly content never making though
He's stoned as shit, eating breakfast cereal and taking a dump. All while listening to dubstep. We may never understand him.
you went all the way to UK and still managed to hook up with someone from our highschool...
I had fun last year but I was one half of the hoe train back then. At least I'll feel better about myself as a person this year.
I'm going to miss going to the strip club though.
True friends don't judge, they just try to have more booty calls than you do.
best eviction party ever.
it wasn't an eviction party you asshole, you just happened to get yourself evicted during the party.
We were right in the middle of sex and all of a sudden his kids toy story action figure starts talking "I think the word your searching for is Space Ranger." A literal Buzz kill. It was equally creepy and hilarious.
At one point she put on my dads pants and yelled after him EMILIOOOO! Dude, my dads name is Mark.
I was sleeping and woke up in the bathroom already puking like i slept walk. Perrrrrrfect.
Idk I just think that seeing that man's Twitter always resulting in me looking for the whiskey is a bad sign
Randomize
