What did you even date her?
because emotionally unstable girls are great in bed.
you passed out when you kept trying to hold your breath during the underwater scenes of 2012
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
I want something that's relevant to him banging her right after I did. Like "runner-up"
Pissed along side the highway while waving at all the traffic... if thats not a sign of a productive night to come then idk what is
they superglued a cigarette to my fingers...i think I need to quit smoking.
He pulled a condom out of his satchel and i questioned my entire life.
I told him he could fuck me once he could grow a beard. Never expected seeing him ten years later with a goatee and a great memory...
My bathing suit kept falling whenever I went under a wave and this kid caught on and kept checking them out so I told him nothing comes free $5 a boob
I sent her a picture of Richard Nixon and said "these are the only dick pics I send".
Good. Sleepy. In the middle of a pregnancy scare. The usual.
The cop let us off with a warning because I had more Twitter followers than he did. The future is terrifying.
He fell into the beer pong table and broke it. Then he threatened to throw the toliet at us if we didn't let him keep playing
it’s not easy to sexualize brunch. work with me, babe.
Just got my second shot
Baller. We’re going to be knee deep in strippers and coke in 10 days
Randomize
