The last thing I remeber was convincing you to hide in the fridge, and then taking everything out and you not fitting.
how can i change my meal plan to a keystone plan?
We just stood on the porch wondering how you managed to puke up a whole piece of bologna
There is a bruise on my cock the size of a golfball. Bad sign.
I'm watching ellen!
just because im gay does not mean you need to notify me every time you watch the ellen degeneres show
sooo... you have no idea who nailed their tubesocks to my wall?
I can feel the fear and stress bubbling in my stomach. Or maybe that is the pregnancy.
the only way to explain how i feel is someone rolled me down a big fucking hill and then a dog came a took a huge ruthless shit in my mouth at the bottom
Wow, im gonna be a great doctor..."hi let me save your life but first check out this pic of me deep throating a handle of grey goose"
Idk every story shes told me thats started with "back when i was a lesbian" has been my new favorite story
I would fuck him In a heartbeat, an obese child running up stairs with an irregular heartbeat, heartbeat.
The things i do for you...I put all those condoms on a bed, complete with girl, and you sleep in the bathroom
Send me another check for the tickets. I scratched out "anal wax" and now the bank won't take it.
If there's one thing I learned yesterday, it's that if I really wanted to I could be mayor of Toronto.
So this morning everyone commended me for puking over the porch. No one else made it that far...
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