OMg patrick swayze is the sexuest man he is killing me I'm gonna get dehydrated if I don't stop looking at him
I was high enough to think that mac-n-cheese w/ ketchup, tortilla chips w/ ketchup, and milk was a fancy dinner
just printed out my drug dealers resume for him. guess the ecstasy scene slows down when kids move back home for the summer...
You know whats not fun? Making yourself throw up on a sand dune at 4 in the morning.
I remember three things: you falling down an entire flight of stairs, me stripping out of your Christmas one-sie to do cartwheels in my underwear, and people standing above me saying, "where did that bump on her head come from?"
Also, I was told I kept the antlers on the entire time. I'm deeming last night a success.
Also, what is a socially acceptable way to introduce a crossbow in public?
Running errands with mom, cool. Coming to pleasures with mom for her valentines night, not ever in a million years cool.
He bought me a burrito. I introduced him as "Horse-Dicked Jake" all night. My debt has been repaid.
I want this pizza in and around my mouth forever..
I needed tweezers to get my thong out of my ass this morning.
BRING KITTENS I AM A GENIUS
I think getting right with the Lord should involve more than me and a bottle of tequila.
I'm going to have to go for it. It's like Mt. Everest. It's large and unpredictable but I live for adventure and it's worth never coming back from. Mt. BigDick.
Like he legitimately was standing straight up, feet on the roof, not holding on to a moving car.
Get to the bar now. Ryan is single again and every skank on campus that has heard story about his dick is circling like a shark. A cock hungry shark
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