Don't tits with veins remind you of road maps?
look. either you want to have late night naked sleep overs or you don't. do not involve dinner and extraneous conversations in this relationship.
Heads up. We filled your kiddie pool with kool-aid and vodka. Things are about to get Out. Of. Hand. Quickly.
I made him sleep with a condom on and i passed out on the carpet with only a bra on.
I asked for a dramatic "funeral" look for my makeup. They judged me.
If you value my life, if you value your own, please look for that godforsaken cookie. Please.
I'll probably just close my eyes and point to a random name. That will be my vote.
I just realised how much we're failing the women's suffrage movement right now.
Solid. Can't put a price on good times
You can and it's called a liver.
He's talking about how great of a find these dollar store condoms were. Help.
There's holes in the drywall and the beer pong table is a broken door on two barstools. You know they like to party.
I like the wholesome side of you
I'm so goddamned horny I could use all my pent up energy to tear a redwood out by its roots.
You live 7 mins away and I'm leaving in 10 mins. At this point sex before work is impossible.
Challenge accepted. Be naked in 6 mins.
I woke up and found piles of popcorn in a trail around my house, ending at a laundry basket full of pillows. What were we trying to catch last night?
So i stood up out of the sunroof while he gave me oral. Car was still moving. Exactly how illegal is that?
Because, after all, nothing quite says life in 2020 than doing laundry at 9:40 on a Friday morning to make sure you have masks and underwear.
Randomize
