i really like this girl i slept with last night
you ask her out again?
yeah but she said she is busy next weekend getting married
I can only speak casual parseltoungue, im not bad though. just the general, "wheres the bathroom?" "open the chamber of secrets" that type of stuff
Mental picture: Us at a bar keeping it classy shot gunning PBR's in the corner.
That was a good example of when keeping it real goes right
This is a dangerous game of "whose life is more pathetic".
A girl pulled up next to me at a stoplight just now, looked around for a second, and then changed her top, bra and all, before the light turned green. New. Hero.
All I know is she walked in crying with a bag of limes and a bottle of tequila and has been locked in her room blasting lil wayne ever since.
I know you're my sister, but I'm pretty sure I'm going to have sex with one of your exes this weekend. He's probably not gay, but I'll let you know.
So you're saying you don't want to be with her anymore because she likes sex to much and is just to hot?
Well when you say it that way it makes me sound like an idiot.
You are an idiot.
The lowest point of my life has been reached. I just drank half a jar of pasta sauce.
Uh I almost got the bride to go down on me. I'm the smoothest maid of honor ever.
You're like the Miss Manners of anonymous gay sex.
its the 14th virginity that counts the most anayways
Just so you know sleeping with you is like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
That's the most romantic thing I've ever heard
it was all good until mid make out when he announced 'i just came'. ...he wasn't joking.
All time low: no dry towels so I'm using the sex towel to dry off
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