Every time I find out someone else from high school got pregnant accidentally, I want to declare victory over them.
I've officially put my junk in foods from 5 of the 6 layers of the nutrition pyramid
ive decided something. ive accepted you as being gay. but i havent accepted you as a vegetarian yet.
I know i should have focused more on what you were saying in the text rather than the fact you spelt "suicidal" wrong
Just topless shotgunned a bud light alone. I am about to peer mentor the shit out of these freshmen.
Well he told me I'd never be a wizard, and so I responded with you'll never have a big penis. After that we both just sat there and cried.
I'm considering failing out of my last semester of college just so I can keep fucking him.
I'm sitting at home, day drinking, while watching crossroads with brittany spears. I'm not the person you should be asking for advice right now.
He just tagged everyone he's slept with this year in a 'memories of 2011' tweet
I feel that shower jager is exactly what this man needs after last night.
You're a disgrace to gay men everywhere.
Just so you know my hand is still healing from where you drunkenly clawed me last Saturday
Do you ever get high and look at your cat and feel like you know them on an intellectual level?
I am still worried she'll have a seizure durring. What would I do? Try to ride it out and finish, or pull out and assist?
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
I am drunk shake weighting right now.
Randomize
