can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
lol whn u cming hre I nd 2 c ur fce
IF YOU TEXT ME ONE MORE SHORTENED VERSION OF A WORD, THE ONLY THING YOU'LL SEE IS MY FIST IN YOUR FACE.
So you started off by saying "no homo," but patting his crotch and saying his jeans fit him wonderfully may have overshadowed that.
I picked my nose. Flicked it. I heard it hit something. Next thing I know, it's floating around in my wine glass.
Looking at the victoria's secret website makes the ice cream I'm eating taste like sadness and obesity
Oh god. It's my first day here, I'm still drunk and somebody just drifted in a forklift. I'm going to die.
Stop. He threw up in front of Madison Square Garden security. Spit at the guys feet and grunted ughhh at him.
Seriously he's so hot. And it's so hard to flirt with a deaf guy
I said I usually like going out for coffee before torturing someone's genitals. He said he understood.
we are blowing up condoms and making balloons and we’re drunk on the floor. You could have come to school here
Now I can say "look me up on Pornhub."
Tomorrow may or may not be a problem cause i'll be wonder woman for a halloween party aka i'll be fucked up & try & jump off of shit thinking i can fly
Sometimes I wish I lived alone because there would be no one to judge me if I wanted to have whiskey and popcorn for breakfast.
Will Smith has a direct hotline to my emotions
Did you throw up out the back door and cover it with paper towels?
Randomize
