That arnold schwarzeneger picture looks strikingly similar to paul
Not half as good looking as paul
I'd say paul has bigger bicep peaks, but who am I to judge
Im rethinking drunk tuesdays. Also rethinking ovaries.
We've been here 3 hours and the only 1 word answer she didn't give was the drink order. Don't think I'm getting laid tonight
I put the condom across her upper lip. It was like a mustache of a job well done.
I need to do something profound in the next three and a half years so that when my kids ask what I did in my twenties I have something to say other than "made bad decisions"
I accidentally lit my hair on fire and we broke the bed. How was your night?
I opened my eyes this morning, looked at the sunlight and made this hangover my bitch.
i miss freshman lecture halls much harder to take shots in a class of 20
I can't even express how horny I am. The English language isn't equipped for what I'm plotting.
Your life is one shit show away from being a lifetime movie.
We drank vodka and koolaid through a traffic cone. It got rowdy.
Never go drinking with anime club. End of story.
So yeah, my old kindergarten teacher just asked me who gave me the hickies on me neck.
I think you're literally the first guy to ever pick up a chick from pinterest.
I'm that daughter that had to send her mother "DON'T GET SHITFACED" & yes, in ALL CAPS.
Randomize