PS, you're not being slutty, you're "making dreams true."
so my dad walked in on us having sex
lulz really? why?
lets just say he wont be answering to 'daddy' for a loooooong time
So I missed her say 'don't' before 'come in me'. She felt what was happening and freaked - which actually made the moment 100x better.
Why does my right nut always hang lower than my left nut?
Halloween has nothing on dressing up as as the INS on cinco de mayo
After he came he asked what I was doing for thanksgiving.
Totally just projectile vomited while ridind a bicycle.
Haha pretty bummed I didn't stay night yesterday after the bj fest you described
My sister was not impressed when she got here. I was standing in the doorway in my underwear drinking a beer. At 2pm. On a Monday.
I got pulled into the conversation by "she sleeps with everybody" then "she" involved sleeping with "cocks the size of a viva burrito"
I woke up naked except for someone else's socks. Im so proud
Her boobs felt like beanie babies from heaven
Imma need a double jack on the rocks and a BJowsky from the hot bartender.
Yes I said BJOWSKY. Pronounced "buh jow skii".
My sister just poured me a dbl Ciroc on the rocks and said "the ice makes it festive." Honestly what a role model.
Such a shame we didn't work out. We would've been a power couple producing NFL linemen :/
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