i just realized how high i was when i was screaming red light challenge at the top of my lungs and am watching it alone
So A**** bought my story about how my hickey was a bruise from wrestling
on one hand i'm glad that i'm not in trouble...on the other hand i realized that the reason i cheat on her is because she is so stupid
She was so bad on top that i found myself watching a TV that wasn't even turned on
she just refered to her hymen as "the mrs"
I had to put my glasses on last night to watch porn. SO getting lasik with my tax returns this year.
I just puked on my dog.I feel summer coming on
Either he masturbated at the end of the bed or she gave him a bj. Either way my bed was shaking and I was uninvolved.
Dude totally calling you out on watching when harry met sally on netflix on demand on april 8th.
using smirnoff bottles as a pillow actually isnt as uncomfortable as you would think
If you can find a Canadian Lesbian to have pity sex with me, let me know.
I just fell in love with a beard, the guy it's attached to isn't great but I think I'm going to take one for the team
i need some magic done to my vagina
He's gonna fuck me, then his girlfriend is going to come over and fuck me in front of him. And they're smoking me out. Happy birthday to ME
so, i take that as a legit invitation into his pants
A dozen naked frat boys in squirrel masks just ran by. Welcome to the official start of the holidays.
Randomize
