chris hansen is no longer pursuing child predators.let's celebrate
i'll bring the hard lemonade and lube
I told you I would drunk text you sometime........its that time.
Sorry, I don't speak sober.
We discussed how the marijuana was making the dopamine float around our nucleus accumbens last night when we were high. Yet another example of how our science classes are perverting our good times.
She came home wasted 'not wantin to talk about it' so for revenge I woke her up with a dutch oven and she puked all over me and the bed. I can't win.
Dude I told you 22 year olds shouldn't get married
Hey man, did I leave the bottom drawer to my refrigerator that I had beer in at your house by any chance?
All I'm saying is that she needs to invest in some razors. But her head game is great. The pros and cons in last minute hook-ups
I wish I could just hang out in ERs.
Drunk texting with my high school teacher. This hurricane is bringing out the best in everyone!
Pretty sure I picked a cat up off the street and took him home with me, fed him tuna, then let him go
Dude if i sent you a picture of the inside of my fridge would you be able to break down and explain everything that was in it?
Yes. Ice cream tacos are an important aspect in the bridge of friendship
Come over.
Look lady I can't have sex with you EVERY day. I have things to do.
I'm on someone's yacht. I don't know who. But I'm on it. There's a guy passed out in a kilt holding bagpipes. Help.
dude im trying to eat his ass so can you stop for 10 minutes
Randomize
