There is no way to make a throwing up smiley so just picture it....
Don't fret. That vag would have consumed a lesser man.
Just so you know, coffee creamer+water does not = milk.
Life lesson. Learning to pee left handed is easier than learning brickbreaker left handed. Rather lose a few drops than a few lives
I don't think the TSA agent thought getting iced while searching my bag was as funny as I did.
Well i tried snorting sugar. so either that made me puke or the fact that i drank water from a fish tank
So when I got her home I realized being a lesbian again isn't like riding a bike...
Makin mac and cheese without you. Definitely seem to do this better inside you. Splashed boiling water on my cock
turns out that the cat the james was trying to catch was a raccoon. call me when you get this, i need an ER buddy
I wish you could see how much hot sauce and broken glass are in our apartment right now.
Woke up shivering behind the titty bar, With the worst leg cramps. I'm like a poster boy for responsibility.
My clothes are covered in blood and I feel like I drank a gallon of elephant cum...it's safe to say I'm hungover
Your first mistake was not throwing your beer at the RA and running
I still think he’s a fuckboy but he’s nice to me when I’m over.\nLike sets alarms for me in the morning and always makes sure I cum.
i realized my signature handshake has now become a hookup. i love what college has done to me.
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