; Think of how many worthless people would b non existant if there was no liquor so their parents never hooked up
Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
similar to the time we made up the game of screaming at the top of our lungs any time a guy any of us slept with walked into the party. that went over SO well.
He is like the real live version of the state fair..
I really hope I'm not the first person who's had to wash vomit off of cash and credit cards.
i woke up with toilet paper straight tucked up in my underwear wearing a pizza sauce mustach. I dont think i got laid last night.
Aaaaand I just watched him face plant in front of the taxi. This is why we don't invite him to margarita night.
After what was supposed to be a one night stand I woke up to a message in my room wall written in marker "Kaitlin got it on in here" definitely a cock block down the road
You made out with two different species that night
The worst that could happen is you end up with a black eye and I get laid.. I'm okay with my end of that bargain.
Somehow he made it really romantic
He came on your tits... That doesn't scream romance to me.
Jasmine is diving into bushes again.
You kept hiding under tables and grabbing people's legs and shouting SHARK ATTACK.
You threw up on his face 22 hours ago and now he's here holding your hand. I think he likes you.
You know you're an adult when you start planning your hookup a week in advance
Randomize
