I just woke up and found a naked man on my floor. Looks like Dad had a wild night of strip poker
I drank enough to make her look pretty . . It worked and i threw up while going at it
Just found a hundred dollar bill on the ground. Hope you're looking to drink tonight
Pregaming class all semester has made this final review session more like my introduction to the topic.
I just heard someone say "gosh-darnit" and they didn't have a southern twang. I worry for New York.
Oh so it was one of those "I shouldn't have gotten in a cab with a random 21 year old girl" kinda nights.
He used his one phone call to tell me not to let anyone drink all his vodka until he could bail himself out.
My vagina senses are tingling. I know your here.
Im cutting you off tonight ONE boy at a time
Hey he's not bad, although he did have a glass eye
Agreed then we'll really be on our A game tomorrow. And by A I mean alcohol.
I bit my tongue so hard I left a deep imprint. Fuck you tongue, stop getting in the way of food.
you know you're drunk when you start breaking down your body composition into organic molecules
Was I trying to make a threesome happen again?!
Yep
I need to stop doing that, Im gonna get punched in the face
Just had to read the instructions to my microwave. How am I so high?
Randomize