i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
Awww my brother is growing up soo fast!! He just gave me the, "I know you're high but I won't tell mom n dad" look!
hey, here's something you don't have worry about since you're a girl: finding crusty cum in your bellybutton.
I just puked in the walgreens aisle buying gatorade and advil for my hangover... i guess i failed
he kept bringing up different times we had sex and i wouldnt say anything back. i would never confirm nor deny the situation...like a politician ya kno
Oh, and my friends believe you should reimburse me for the brazilian that was gone to waste.
How is it I was the last to know everyone calls me tig ole bitties? Did y'all have a meeting about this that I wasn't invited to?
Our funnel is on top of our neighbors roof.
Thank God I didn't lose my virginity to that asshole. That woulda been like winnin a raffle ticket for a free bag of dog shit. But with like a really pretty bag. A pretty bag full of dog shit.
I have just figured that it takes exactly 2 and a half rums to clean the bathroom..
i took four shots of tequila, threw my fist up in the air, then went around the party showing everyone how to do the ninja turtle handshake. that's the last thing I remember
They filled a kiddie pool with lube and glitter.
Banging to Billy Joel pandora is like russian roulette. But I made him cum to Let It Be so I we both walked away victors
Are you aware that you called your mom to say hi before you dragged the random guy into bed last night?
I am cleaning melted cheese out of my hair. This is a new experience for me
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