but, i was nude. you really should respect my stupidity and delete them. please.
You then began crawling around in the grass with a magnifying class saying you were searching for the magic school bus.
They just yellow carded someone for spilling a drink because it was a party foul. Love germans.
I tried calming him down but his eyes are rolling to the back of his head and he's yelling "COMA WEED!"
And a psychic told me I was pregnant and I am just so over life right now.
The dentist told me I have super glue on my teeth. I'm not blaming you I just want to know how that happened
I have the money I owe you for auctioning off your black thongs. Best 30 bucks ever spent
They're doing a Bong-A-Thon for 4/20. I don't care if you quit. You are coming out of your weed retirement for this.
You can't text people with drinkers' regret at 8 in the morning. It's just bad form.
I need to buy fuckboy repellant for whenever I think it's a good idea to meet boys I found in tinder
whatever. i don't need to be drunk to tell you i'd suck your dick if you had one.
Yeah last night got weird fast. No lie, a kid pulled a butt-plug with a tail out of his ass.
I got really stoned and got my certification as an ordained minister. How productive has your day been?
i just sneezed the second i jizzed and it got in my eye. words can't describe how much i hate life right now.
If you can wrestle my underwear off of me, you can top. It'll be like using an amulet in Legends of the Hidden Temple. Instead of not getting captured, you don't get fucked in the ass.
Randomize
