that thing about your dad's boner was meant to be a compliment
I forgot how hot balto sounded
okay, prove you're not drunk to me. write 5 true sentences about me with correct grammar.
I am sober. Because I don't drunk. It is bad. People die. I like Domenico because o he bag women what up?
this chick on a show just showed her boobs and let some guy paint them others asked why she did it and her reply i quote "i was bored" why dont chicks get bored more often
just passed out while on hold to see if i left my debit card at the bar last night.
so, what part of "he's slept with a guy" do you not understand?
Is that you who's passed out on my treadmill?
explain the broken jalepenos in my underwear drawer?
Were you paying girls to come up and grab my cock and tell me I look like bradley Cooper?
I called her 20 times. Apparently she went home to do MORE shots before bed. Didnt miss me until this morning. WHO FORGETS THEIR HIGHSCHOOL SISTER AT A FRAT?
I totally intended to come to the hotel, but I woke up in a parking lot
The struggle is real.
Seriously. All I want right now is a 40 with a nipple on it, and a nap
The amount of dicks I have seen in the last hour is more than I have seen in my whole life.
He gets married Father's Day weekend and I just found out I'm pregnant. What do I do?
Ate his Chinese food and drank his beer and played with his chihuahua. All while wrapped in a towel while he was sleep.
Randomize
