My booty call said shes done doing the walk of shame. Wtf is that?
It's what anyone that sleeps with you, specifically, does when they leave. Some do it even when they just think of you.
I hate when people uglier than me have girlfriends
We shouldn"t be alone together
you didn"t say that yesterday
you weren't married yesterday
He fucked my earring out of my ear. Of course he's coming over again.
He was banging holes in the kitchen wall with pots. They tried to pull him away but only managed to pants him. He kept "drumming".
Take advantage man but know that every anal bead u drop inside her will make her love u 2% more. It's science
youre just mad because i have donuts and im beautiful
The kid across the hall found me in the hallway using a hot pocket box as a pillow. I said its okay I live here.
I mean you guys are my friends and all but if you fuck with me I will not hesitate to set you on fire
This is the Taco Bell dump we've all been waiting for.
Regardless of your intentions, deep throating a Twinkie is NOT sexy. You owe that poor cashier an apology the next time you pump gas.
I feel like every young boy's first wet dream is too have sex with the Pink Ranger. I am now fulfilling that dream for one man. I am a hero.
When was the last time you wore pants?
Time is relative.
And pants are optional.
I'm sitting in Madison square park surrounded by children thanking god I took emergency contraception
I'm too pretty to be this sexually frustrated.
Randomize
