So my roomate was sunbathing this morning on the porch with a sock covering his penis
Sounds like a really classy character....
He is classy. It was argyle.
Di me a solid and hit me with your car.
Just had another dream about being on Real Chance of Love. I think it's a sign.
It all boils down to, who else do we know that is willing to buy our friendship?
Trick or treaters just rang our doorbell
Give them the moldy beer cans, we need to get rid of those
Yeah I fingered her in the crowd and the dj saw it and gave me props over the speakers. I got so many high fives.
I had to warn the neighbors
Warn them about what?! It's noon
"Pay no attention to me if at random points of the day I'm outside with kitty cat ears on" I'm a mess...
It's George Washington's Birthday. Can you not put on some red white and blue and get really drunk for the original Merican??
I literally farted midsex as a siren for him to get the fuck off me.. No such luck.
Hey I was just wondering if you could go look for my teeth?
Let's stay in this weekend and play drinking games to the Winter Olympics.
As long as we can drink anytime we see a stray dog, mafia looking Russian or double toilet.
How fast can you get here?\nI need to ride your cock into the sunset.
We were fucking in the boat on the lake when another boat saw us and honked their appreciation.
Now with the essential back story, I can empathize. Sorry about your beer and butthole.
I was looking at your nipple and it made me think of you
Well I hope so...
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