shes the kind of girl i dont like to talk to unless my penis is in her mouth.
she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
How the hell am I supposed to know what lotion to get her? They should have a dressing booth where I could go test how good it is for jerking off, then I'd know.
This glow in the dark vibrator will get me through this power outage
You couldn't hold yourhead up but you managed to unzip my zipper. That's skill..
i woke up to the sound of my dad getting blown. this is my life
Drunkenly auctioned off my bed for 3 tequila shots
my mom and grandma just had a splits competition. slut runs in the family
I played ping pong,drunk, with my hand instead of the paddle. And i won. I have hidden talents
I feel like you just railed me after that sext
i was enjoying my post acid trip trance a little too much. i found $50 on the sidewalk but didnt pick it up. just stared at the bill cuz it looked cool.
someone picked it up and i stared at the ground where it was for probably another minute or 2
Can we make sure camping doesn't turn into forest-orgy?
Lol, last year was UNREAL
For once I am not in the mood. My vagina is good with life at the moment.
The apocalypse has arrived.
He was like low grade Riff Raff, but I hit it. Twice. His grill popped out the second time.
My niece I'm babysitting left earlier to stay the night with her friend. I got ditched by an 8 year old.
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