Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
so she proceeds to puke everywhere, look up at me like a sick dog, and then say, "i'll finish if you want me to."
So, I just pissed in her shampoo bottle. Hope she enjoys a late golden shower from me.
i wish peter jackson would direct porn
hey. who tried to drive me home last night?
not sure. we got lost. what do you mean "tried"?
i'm still in their car. parked on the beach. no one else is here. i have on different pants.
we played lady & the tramp with a hash brown from McDonald's....im in love.
i think my mom would be mad if i was pregnant. last time i was she grounded me for a week.
Did you seriously take investment advice from our coke dealer?
I just saw a girl on crutches doing a walk of shame. She is either super dedicated, or her night didn't go as planned.
Smoked a topless bowl this morning. For International Women's Day. Quite liberating.
I think I fucked up my elbow when I tried to fight off the paramedics.
Why was I drunk tweeting incorrect Beyonce lyrics last night?
I convinced her that there were two p's in Chipotle - the 2nd one was silent.
Why did I wake up next to the fire pit? And who wrapped me up like a burrito?
Jägerbombs. Thank Sara.
I'm a history major and he's the descendant of TWO presidents. Did you really think I wasn't going to sleep with him?
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