Yeah, getting the HI-fiVe would really put a damper on my whoring around.
I am going to invent a chocolate mix for sperm.
i caught a guy at work today stealing condoms. i let him go when i realized that they were extra small.
i told her parents not too worry the way i do it girls dont get pregnant
I woke with a ring of glitter around my dick.... I kinda don't want to wash it off
you just broke rule number 1. If you can't lift her up don't date her
I've decided that my new worst fear is that I'll end up on "I Didn't Know I was Pregnant"
i love beer. I convinced myself that I'm going to ace the exam tomorrow. I can't even do that when I actually study.
Always fun waking up to 911 as your last dialed call.
We have 10 gallons of home brew. And james has an amazonian blow dart weapon that sticks in bags and the wall. Come over
Just got walked in on while fucking in the lounge in the performing arts building. The janitors gave us five minutes to leave and applauded our exit
Fuckin wine wasted last night. Found my pants in the toilet this morning.
I wish I could have a tequila IV with me all the time. Intravenous tequila intoxication.
Monday afternoon and I'm still hungover from Valentine's Day. I think I'm winning at the single life.
When are your genitals available?
Randomize
