Plan B is the new Plan A
woke up to moans and hushed"we can't do this with him in here." hope they had a good time
I've eaten ice cream, mentos, an extreme gulp and swedish fish today. i feel like diabetes. the actual disease not a person with it.
I just fired a shotgun out of the back of a truck going 60. i am going to miss oregon.
Puked on a Tom Jones impersonator on the strip
I'm bakin' bread in my pussy!
What?
I have a yeast infection.
I just saw a girl walking up the hill with a little red wagon full of booze... I want to be in her study group.
That doesn't help it make any more sense. Because now you've brought pinata condoms into this.
i dont know what was worse.. snorting the wasabi or puking on the neighbors dog
I would say I'm the man in the relationship but I'm cuddled on the couch eating cake mix and water.
Her vagina was like a painting you can put your face in.
Hey, you know that marble art statue thing in your bedroom? Hypothetically what would happen if a penis got stuck in it?
I just watched someone put a diaper on a cat..I'm to high for this.
You don’t need a wing man if you have a solid hook up on the pumpkin pie
he invited me over. we listened to jazz, smoked weed, then cerebrally fucked each other over a three hour game of chess
Randomize