THE most awkward situation I have EVER been in
Also, I just threw up a little in my mouth and had to act like everything was totally fine.
he wrote Vegans should suck on cow dick on her wall with permanent marker. thats how he got the black eye
after last night, i judge her for not breaking up with me
thanks for singing to me while i puked last night
You know what sound is wonderful for a hangover? Listening to the horns from the South Africans at the world cup
I asked her if she wanted to make this a permanent exclusive thing instead of a fuck buddy thing, and she just looked at me like I'm an idiot.
That's because you are an idiot.
eating kraft dinner with my face. no forks.
She said I walked up to the McDonalds counter and ordered just a cup full of pickles then proceeded to offer some to everyone in the place.
I need to shower, but I have no shower curtain... I think I can get by with a whore bath and a hat for one more day.
If I don't at least start a parade that spirals into drunken riots then I'm calling it a fail of a birthday
I just used a VHS tape as a plate for sanwich
The first thing we did this morning was see if we could see her barf in the prking lot from the roof. We could. It was in 5 spaces.
Ask me if I'm sitting naked in a lawn chair eating a block of cheese waiting for a bacon grilled cheese sandwich
I guess I can check "drink alone in the dark" off my bucket list
Don't know where this pizza came from but i got breakfast in bed
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