at 4 in the morning i heated a family sized mac n cheese for a minute and decided to eat it frozen cuz I didn't wanna wait for that long
so she asked me if I thought she was fat and naturally I said no..... but I think she might catch on
who is she? I really hope you have an explanation cause either you think I'm fat or you're cheating on me
I've grown up since last year. I don't give blow jobs as birthday presents anymore.
so I'm in athletic shorts, a suit jacket and I'm still drunk at 6:30am at the last leg of relay for life
im sorry for trying to flush a roll of toilet paper down with my puke. probably not great for your toilet
thanks for at least making it out of the pool before you threw up
And then you proceeded to sneak behind thee bar and hold up an empty bottle of vodka and scream LOOK WHO THE BARTENDER IS NOW BITCH!
I renamed his cat Jeff last night. Well I spray painted it on him.
She wanted me to watch her masterbate and after she thanked me for a wonderful evening and left. This state is weird.
she just called me the flavor packet to her ramen noodles. get me the fuck out of here.
Your first mistake was not throwing your beer at the RA and running
There's a girl in class eating a pumpkin pie. Like a whole pie straight from the pan with a fork.
His roommates came in the room and were throwing snowballs at us while we were hooking up.
My sober self will be embarrassed tomorrow. For now I am laughing my ass off.
When Dad gets to your house, ask him about the sound of anal beads. Happy Thanksgiving!
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