He can hate all he wants but were fucking with these crocs on
i made the cop pinkie-promise not to arrest me if i failed the breathalizer.
i was sitting in the back seat of her car with her boyfriend while she was driving. it was pretty awkward, but i dont think "so my dick's been in your girl's mouth too" was a good ice breaker
Our phone convo was getting intense. Then I heard her say "quiet mommy is trying to have phone sex"
At the wedding. Seated next to the bar. No way this ends well
I'm not sure which is worse. The fact that I slept with him last night, or the fact that you did too.
just bought 2000 rhinestones and a heart shaped stencil at Micheals...I think the cashier knows i'm Vajazzling
Like my mouth was on his pelvis connected to his balls that's how far it was
Dude. My knees have no hair on them and they're bruised. My thigh is killing me. I have about 1000 texts to about 5 exes which I horribly regret. I have pictures of my own penis on my phone. I can't find my iPad. And I have work in an hour.
If you've never been pounded by an Eastern European body builder, I would highly recommend it.
We're living together and you don't know if I've seen Titanic?!
There is nothing wrong with me introducing you as elephant dick. Nothing.
It was 16 hours of liver killing mistake making goodness
I think he's only dating me for my ass...
Soooooooo high. David tried to rinse the water droplets out of the sink for 5 minutes
Randomize
