She went from zero to smokin in five shots
She acts like you when your on meds
She acts like batman?
It's not true, it's not true! She's too full of cheese to have sexy time!
She told me that she faked her orgasm. Does she think I care??
don't leave me alone with all the disney princess sluts
hey sry I lost all my numbers who is this?
pat the guy you slept with
still need a last name
My grandma just told me that she sharted, no I am not having fun in El Paso.
We are cuddling. She is so cute when she is too high to be a loud bitch.
A nice make out session never hurt anyone. Plus he's a pilot, so he'll know the safety procedures for when the night crashes and burns.
Its a first. Never been peed on in a line to concert. First time for everything.
She kept telling me it was a squirtgun.
Suppose hypothetically u received a request for face time communication with a gentleman who looked astonishingly like a penis. Would you indulge him in conversation? Hypothetically of course.
I convinced a shit ton of people I was a russian foreign exchange student to get free drinks. I knew learning those accents would come in handy.
I couldn't stop laughing at the fact he was cutting lines with a sears card. What 24 year old has a sears card?
Both of us came out of our rooms at the same time in boxers and sat on the couch. No words were spoken.
I think I died and satan has brought me back to life and I'm paying for my sins with this hangover
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