I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
I'm not high anymore, I decide when it's done.
Used tampon in my purse. That from you?
dude, I just walked in on your little brother changing clothes...I'm ashamed to say I noticed, but that kid has as MASSIVE cock...
Yeah...we all know. it's the elephant in the room at family gatherings.
that is a frighteningly accurate metaphor for it.
He doesn't make grammatical errors. Even while getting head.
We FINALLY fucked. I swear that's the longest I've ever held out for
Umm you met him three days ago....
I said what I said
I just did a sobriety test in a tutu.
we knew we'd be okay when we walked up to the dealers house and he asked us to please be quiet as to not wake his nana.
Someone touched my vagina when we were out last night. The fact that it was you is inconsequential and I am still counting it as a pull.
He picked me up in the very car he devirginized me in, his moms toyota.
I don't think that calm, have their shit together people actually exist.
Oh and apparently something happened that was related to "THIS IS SPARTA" but no one will tell me what I did.
So I'm going to blame my boobs hurting on that.
Good rule of thumb: only list personal references with whom you have hallucinated
I'll be wearing lingerie and holding a bottle of bourbon so pick up whatever food you think goes with that
No, no... It was great. I feel like my liver took a vodka shower and washed it's hair with pabst
Randomize