Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
he just invited me over for the 3 p's...pepsi pizza and porn...I'm gonna marry him
Why do I feel like the only way for this trip to end is alcohol poisoning?
This dude was wearing a "Plan B- One Step" backpack. I wonder how many more I have to buy until I get mine??
Registered sex offender is the model in class today.... There are too many things wrong with him getting naked in front of a lot of college students.
Somewhere in the night I send my Dad a text stating "YOU failed as a parent"
will barter weed for kareoke machine...
I asked her politely not to touch my dick
Things I Learned Tonight: I have no future in goat wrangling. Herding. Whatever you call the ridiculosity that just transpired.
I bought more beer than I could carry and managed to fit it all in the fridge. It's an alcoholicmas miracle.
Her blow jobs are legen wait for it seriously like 9 people I know brag about them dary
I'm 80% sure I have pink eye. This is my penance for being a homewrecker.
Despite how often it occurs, I have absolutely no interest in having sex with myself
no its a draw, weve been through this, when were keeping score on getting laid i get a plus 1 handicap each week because of your British accent! its only fair!
First dip in a brand new jar of Nutella, and my man’s dick are two things I will not fucking share.
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