LETS GET FUCKED UP IN ONESIES TONIGHT.
I worry about you sometimes...
You kept telling that ginger girl, "it's not your fault, it's not your fault, it's not your fault."
You tried to convince our cab driver that your $2 bill was worth $11.70
I just peed next to my dog in the yard. Unparalleled forms of bonding going on over here.
all i know is that each time we woke up we were at a different chinese restaurant. help.
I would like to add..this is the first november for two years that i haven't cheated on a bf...thank you..thank you
I need to stop drunkenly getting naked. I'm losing all my favorite party clothes.
She's got a butler. A fucking butler. Shes like batman, but with a better ass.
I didn't know whether to laugh at the fact that a dog bit his balls or throw up cause my dad was telling me a story involving his balls.
It's two in the afternoon, I'm on my third glass of wine and I'm watching Lambchop on youtube. How do you think I feel right now?
Dude, my sex life is so sad since I started having feelings.
Sleeping with just one person sucks
Well we can add this to the list of 'where the hell did that bruise come from?'
I found your birth control, it was in your Crown Royal bag.
Is it bad that I'm not at all bothered by the fact that to some people I'm simply known as the girl that takes her shirt off?
Sexual Dilemma - Covid Edition: Flirting with a cute frat boy. The Cougar in me wants to go back to his frat house and fuck his cocky brains out. The adult in me doesn’t want to get Covid and have to quarantine in a frat house for 2 weeks\n
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