What happened to our ballroom dancing plans
he was wearing sponge bob boxers. Guess how long he lasted.
there is no way he can be that small
look on the bright side he'll over comepensate
So apparently vaginal secretions are not covered under water damage insurance for my cell phone
opening your purse in class to grab a pen only to find dollar bills and pink fuzzy handcuffs instead...that's a cool feeling
how should i go about explaining the hickey i drunkenly gave myself last night?
I'm sober enough to question why I have your name as "the wolverine" in my phone.
He probably smells like baby powder and sexual identity crisis.
It was my penance. God came down to me in the form of an angel and said, "you must atone for your sins, by puking in your mouth at church right before communion"
No, he went to go get condoms. The least I could do was chug two beers before he got back
Why is it that when I sustain a serious injury people are more concerned with my level of inebriation than my personal safety?
Just make it a game! Like 20 questions STD style.
I won't let penises inside me if you won't let tequila inside you, deal?
sex on a roof was cool and all but that superhero argument was the best part of the night hands down
Sex to movie scores is my best choice of the year. You've had an orgasm but have you had an orgasm with an entire orchestra.
Randomize
