Moan for me like Helen Keller
ohhh my god. this party should be titled "my hookups of summers past" be expecting some good stories tomorrow
Come home. Power Hour by yourself is only fun for the first 10 minutes.
Because the last time i saw or spoke to him he came all over me in a hammock.
I would just watch. I wouldn't even have a boner cuz I would do so much coke. It would just be funny.
THEY WONT LEYT ME IN AND I REALLY NEED SOME FRUIT
Got a thumbs up from a trucker for doing lines on the interstate. God bless america.
until he told me my vag was like a juicy apple and he loved eating it, yes, i really did think we were both sober.
I do have a life. It just consists of making scarves and chesse straws now
All I know is that I woke up with my pajamas on inside out in front of a bowl of watered down kd. Sitting up. I didn't even make it to bed.
every time someone would wish me happy birthday I would be like "thanks happy birthday to you too"
I didn't know White Castle was open when your sober.
Jesus Christ. Even your cock has to be an overachiever. :-(
He had a small dick and screamed "I will kill you if you don't get hard" to it in German...awkward time to have to explain I speak German too...
This is why you need to stop sleeping with freshmen.
Yeah that was post sex. I was thinking in my mind, no wonder he didnt ask me to call him daddy since he actually is a dad
Randomize
