it makes me cry that so many people are going to see you naked someday.
Don't get me started, it sucks when the one thing you have in common with a girl is not wanting penis inside you.
just had cupcakes and mountain dew for dinner-now i'm playing super mario brothers. 10 year olds all over the world would kill to be me.
Too bad my thesis topic isn't "defining a hot mess: a study in drinking, smoking and other bad life decisions."
...She just said, "We've been blessed with good drugs lately."
My prof gave me extra credit for drawing a ninja on my paper and writing "ninja will up my grade"
Then I hope you find a set of extremely intelligent, flexible triplets in the ethnicity of your choice.
That is the nicest thing anyone has ever wished for me
You went into the shower with my roommate and cursed him out asking why he was there
You know how I know she's ugly? 97% of her profile pics are flowers or animals. And what do we know about pretty people and the Internet?
its the first football sunday and my boyfriend isn't excited. this isn't gonna last unless he makes me snacks and brings me beer during the game.
On a scale of 1-10, how inappropriate is it to sneak into someone's box of sex toys and put googly eyes on their vibrator?
I didn't want him to hear me sneaking in. The doggie door was the perfect solution.
This is a question I thought I'd never have to ask. How many hits of acid did you give your dad tonight?
Whenever I have a bad day I just look at the negetive pregnancy test I keep in my purse and remind myself things could be alot worse.
You have a full penis tattoo of a cobra fighting a mongoose, don't you?
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