I hraet yuo
did you say you heart me or hate me?
who is this?
I'm so over stopping myself from talking about my sexual experiences in front of children.
Was it a mistake telling him I couldn't get the abortion until I was 2 months along on the first date?
girls just need to accept the fact that i'm going to make out with their boyfriends
I just added 'steal mom's xanax' to my to do list for when I go home for Easter.
and then he tried plucking my nose hairs. lines were crossed.
filling out my bracket based on schools with ppl I've hooked up with
Haha. Fifty shades ain't got shit on me. My tits look like they got in a fight.
Sorry brah. Drastic times called for drastic measures and I had to go home and bang a cougar.
First time for everything: started posting a Facebook comment, decided I'm not quite sober enough. Progress.
yea but i missed the pot and poured the boiling water on my dick. shit hurts. aint nothin easy about that mac
Why did I see a weird snapchat of you barking at McDonald's last night?
Whoever was doing lines off my iPad is a dick. Also bring Gatorade, for I hunger
For Who flesh?
Dick is the cure to depression. I'm almost positive. And cough syrup.
I had a threesome last night with my fiance' and our soon to be best man. Everyone is surprisingly chill about it this morning. Is this any indication of what the wedding night will be like?
Randomize
