She actually asked me 'is it in yet?' I deleted the vid.
Had sex with him. My tampon is now in my brain. May need surgery.
I just beer bonged a sparks. You better get your ass over here because no one is on my level yet
Neighbors just bought a new bong. Got high with them and we decided to name it "Gary colemans sweet sugarlumps" these guys are hilarious
med student doing my blood work at the AIDS clinic just hit on me after I told him i was having unprotected sex, but didn't think i had HIV.
any interest in drunk sledding later? if not, any interest in driving me to the hospital later?
Do you know why I have a burn shaped like a tiny spork?
That's what my new years consisted of. Consoling heartbroken girls and having people throw up in my hands.
feelin groggy baby? need a coffee? vitamins? a nice good fuck on the piano?
I'm still high with raccoon eyeliner eyes and chocolate all over my face and chest, clutching a mug of wine. Happy graduation.
Listen it's no longer the walk of shame to class when ur leaving the frat house and the brothers ask "when are coming back home"
You started pulling out condoms from your fanny pack and threw them at all the couples on the beach
all of these bad things happened because I didn't bring a shower beer.
She flashed us last time and pissed all over the floor this time. I'm scared to invite her back.
Liz Cheney wasn’t exactly on my list of women I expected to be saying “YAS QUEEN” for in 2021 but here we are
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