She went from zero to smokin in five shots
I'm think I may have given your ex's number to a convicted sex offender.
Win!
TLC. RIGHT NOW. PRIMORDIAL TODDLERS.
I just foul balled at work. I had taken off my coat too… had to go to the sink wash my hands then go back to the stall and pick up my coat. I hope the guy shitting in the stall next to me didn’t figure out what happened.
There's people holding up abortion signs everywhere. I guess the people of Florida want you to remember you fucked up on Spring Break.
This whole living in Ohio thing is getting reaaaaallly old.
It wasn't a wasted relationship. I got road-head in an Escalade. I still keep that with me.
incase your class ends early, there are three naked guys in our room. but don't get too excited, they're all gay.
i just wrote an ode to an enchilada dorito. i'll need that pregnancy test now please.
I remember because you made a pirate noise when you came.
There was just a girl standing next to me on the train, wasted, wearing only one shoe. I so wanted to pat her on the shoulder and say "oh honey, we've all been there"
Do I lose at life if I cry in a grocery store while buying a pregnancy test?
He sent me a picture of his dick as a snake, I'd say things are going great.
I don't care if his family has ties to the mafia, you go over there, ride his dick until it breaks off, put his dick back on, and keep on riding. Lather, rinse, repeat.
Thanks for the support, sis.
Xanax and full house Tuesday is now Percocet Sunday
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