so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
Whatever. They have the same name, so it's not even cheating. It's brand loyalty.
all i remember is you climbed in a garbage can and said you were trashed
you left him a drunk voicemail of you singing speechless by lady gaga balling your eyes out
sorry for making everyone realize you look like bruce jenner
he sent me a pic of his dick and balls out with sunglasses over them like a face. i was at dinner.
do you still have it? i kinda want to see.
I'm going to try to ignore the homoerotic subtext in that last question...
Is it inception if it feels like another uterus is going to burst out of my current uterus?
The majority of the reason I want to get my pilot's license is so I can use the argument "FUCK YOU! I'M A PILOT!"
Of the 4 nights I've gone downtown this week, I've been "piss in the parking lot" drunk 5 times
I wanted lighthearted conversation about ordering bulk condoms and anal lube but he's depressed and talking about god hating him, ugh
I know I'm moving in six days but getting wine drunk and laying in bed just sounds so good right now
I'm like, not good at living.
You know its a good morning when you wake up with blonde hair extensions in your pocket. . .
The covid immunization shot lady also sold me a mondo bag of really good pot.
Randomize
