True Life: I hate vaginal excretions
we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
no you cant smoke seaweed
fine. I googled it. you have to eat 5 to die so apparently I'm in the clear.
she told me i tasted like america
First day at work... I clogged up the office toilet on purpose to assert my dominance.
just tell her a well fed dog doesnt stray far from the porch, and if that doesnt work just keep fucking her sisters
Your tequila is gone. I suggest you bring more home before you go out for dinner. Money is taped to mailbox.
Land Before Time marathon. we drink every time littlefoot almost eats a treestar.
So what's the moral standing on reading gay porn on your phone whilst sitting next to your 87 year old Grandma?
Impressive. I've never gotten straight denied and then chased the guy naked out of my own apt. I'll remember that next time.
I was in a competition with shots tonight...shots won.
Snow days are when you really appreciate that your neighbor is on your bang roster.
Burnt my boob on a piece of hot waffle at work today..I feel like thats a new low point in my career..
There's nothing classy about a pregnant girl at a frat party...remember that.
Randomize
