Memo to self- delete texts about butt sex from you before giving my mom my old phone to use.
she asked if she could keep her bee antennas on during her mugshot. i love halloween.
Is it a problem that I find my wife's 16 year old niece sexy?
He gave Paula abdoul a run for her crazy
i finally found my car by the hideout. it was parked in an employee only parking space with a torn up piece of paper in the back window with the word employee scribbled on it.
two words...techno handjob
dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
Everything smells like beer. Everything. But I cant drag myself out of bed to take a shower. So beer it is.
Hahah fuuuck, bag pipers played around me while I threw up. Literally
He just told an 8 year old to go fuck himself so we probably won't be in the butterfly exhibit much longer.
So from zero to dumpster fire, how shitty do you feel this morning? I'm hovering somewhere around trainwreck.
So far in 2016 I told someone id give them a blowjob for lasagna.
her fuck buddy was butt ass naked in our kitchen making waffles but they tasted so bomb
Have you ever looked at someone and thought…oh honey, you're too pretty for an ankle monitor
Theres a woman here with grey hair that im pretty sure i would have sex with
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