but, i was nude. you really should respect my stupidity and delete them. please.
I'd suck anything for a pizza right now
Playing a game in life called "how far can I make a man travel for a booty call"
After he called me a "spirited little girl" I realized that I need to stop sleeping with guys more than ten years older than me.
lets just use each other and get past this awkward stage. forget my name.
Porch rule of tonight: when you sing, you must use "something" as a microphone. The person to use the most "creative" object gets the door prize...so far Stephie is winning with Jennifer's dog.
Don't ask me how, but I have a squirrel in my backpack and I don't know what to do with it.
I only had sex with him so I could try to steal his roommate's cat, what kind of girl do you think I am?
I gave you the craziest sex experiences of your life, the least you could do is let me keep the sweater.
We have a shopping cart in our front lawn. Also Mickey D's breakfast?
I tried sex in a car once. It was like trying to do yoga in a drainage pipe with your arms and legs tied while using a typewriter with your penis.
Everybody posting sickening holiday couple pics and I'm over here deepthroating a bottle of whiskey.
i spent most of my hangover doing the math to figure out the last of the alcohol would be metabolized from my system.
thank you pre-med degree.
I think the cashier at 7/11 might be planning an intervention for me.
I'll get the most aesthetic strap on, you'll see
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