Call me at 7:30 and make sure I'm not asleep in this booth at Waffle House.
Just spent 45mins blow drying a joint i dropped in a beer....i felt like i dropped his infant child....
so my daughter wakes me up this morning and i feel like a vibration so im thinking she has my phone..nope my vibrator
So many tools at one table, you'd enjoy my italian family
What am I legally allowed to do to a girl that is the equivalent of me punching her in the face?
I hope so. I just start to question my lifestyle when i pee on coffee tables
ive got a scarf tied around my face holding bags of hashbrowns to it, im too boss to care
Looking for the remote in the couch. Finding Adderall beads. Considering utilizing.
I will now refer to my life as before and after I used Astroglide for the first time
He brought wine and beer. I'll put my pants on for wine and beer.
Dude, he's legal now. You could not pry me from his dick with the jaws of life.
Came back with a random sweatshirt, an American flag, and a for sale sign. Mission success?
well, you know. whores of a feather.
I turn 40 next week. I deserve to celebrate the end of my 30’s with a 21 year old dick
It's official we're now working from home permanently. I'm getting paid to have sex and sandwiches. I hit the lottery.
Randomize
