i'm in the guys across the halls apartment. i think 7 MIP guy wants me. he just got a medical marijuana card. might be worth it.
i rewarded my self with tacobell for not throwing up on any one. MISTAKE
i love waking up at 5am with an imprint of a toilet seat on my chest
What?? I'm covered in blood at the hospital, I atleast deserve a pic of someones boobs
You'll be happy to know that I did indeed fracture my rib in a sex related injury
Its 4 am and he honestly tried throwing pizza at his ceiling for decorations
So what do you think the policy is on vomit in rental cars? do I have to clean that up or is that part of the service I'm paying for?
Just getting in the shower.... found a "great job" sticker stuck to my boob.
So how was your night?
You kept whispering "Party Dave" every time someone would start talking.
Life just isn't the same without him waking me up at 4 in the afternoon with a look of pity on his face...
Fun fact: drinking me now steals weaponry
He posted a picture from Senor Frogs. I don't remember where that bikini came from and my sombrero is PERPENDICULAR. Safe to say it was one hell of a day
Baruch atah adonai DAT ASS DOE
I was so drunk, he put me to bed and went down stairs to hang out with his friends. Apparently, I was curled up in the closet, spooning the dresser when he came back up.
Normally getting fucked up with the owner and suggesting he motorboat me wouldn’t help my chances of a promotion, but this is 2020 and he definitely enjoyed it
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