Yo I charged a $20 breakfast to ur room, will pay u back in liquor and schoolgirl panties, thx again for a fun time
If my boyfriend wants to eat his own jizz after masturbating, what does that make him?
fyi gin and iced coffee...not my greatest invention
She has no definite jawline and all of her photo's have Ke$ha quotes as captions followed by a "<3" Even by your standards that is embarrassing.
Bank of America: Available balance is $546.25 on 03/04/2011 for account 8428. Go online for details. TextSTOPtoStop/TextHELPforHelp
i loe djcudia fjxos rue.
I'm gonna go drown myself in the shower. Make sure to cover me up before the paramedics arrive. I'm too fat to be seen naked right now.
FULL ON LADY WOOD. YOU CAN SEE THE VEIN
If you die first, I'm going to sleep with a pallbearer at your funeral.
Hey dude. I've got a mini fridge in my closet now so we don't have to worry about getting drunk and falling down the stairs on our way to get more beer.
It feels like I was drinking gasoline last night.
I need you to be best friend brutally honest about whether or not I can go into public like this.
I might as well just sew it shut at this point.
Literally sucked a dick for ten seconds before I said to myself, this tiny ass penis isn't worth it. My night last night
There are regrets.. and there are RAGRETS
If I end up in the hospital remind me to order jimmy johns.
Why?
They deliver.
Randomize
