btw, but what hole was i in last night? wanna know if i have to worry
If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
somehow you got everyone naked by playing strip rock paper scissors.
he looked like jesus. just the kind of jesus i would have sex with.
It happened again. Now theres even more baby powder and its all over the place, I'm not cleaning that house.
i seriously have like 9 pictures of people taking shots out of a vag on my camera....
i just like, need to vent to someone
Can we skip the part where I pretend to care and fast forward to the appreciative blowjob from you?
They said an hour before I even see a doctor...and they noticed the shots tally on my arm.
I love that your last three texts to me were "Drunk." "Getting laid." "In the hospital."
Looks like breakfast in bed is out the window. She can't get up because I "fucked her into paralysis." My stomach is not happy with my dick right now
She refuses to believe she pulled down her pants and spanked her ass in front of us
Woke up in time for my 8:15
Good for you I'm impressed
I realized 10 minutes in it was a class from last semester
Would love to dress up in respectable attire and take you out somewhere nice and then do disgusting crude things in public
so we just got back from swapping peoples patio furniture around to different patios. some people might like unexpected change. others might regret living on the ground floor.
I had a dream I hooked up with Post Malone. I can still smell the dream
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