I really want to sleep with her friend. I'm hoping our casual sex relationship will somehow lead to that.
FUCK TREES I CLIMB BUOYS MOTHERFUCKER
STOP listening to that song
only if we run a train.
done.
A guy on the street just growled at me and said damnnnn. Sometimes it scares me how attractive i am.
i asked if you wanted help changing your sheets after you threw up in bed. you politely declined. i take no responsibility after that.
Well be careful man. Be careful. Wear shoes in the house. Safety. Safety first, then teamwork.
I am going to buy some m-80's and keep a bucket of them in the bathroom. That way I can just depth charge the toilet before each time I use it. Lets see how those snakes like cheap Chinese explosives
I thought it was pretty weird, but after the marinating loins thing, i figured i'd roll with it.
Sex followed by chicken and waffles... Hands down my favorite morning plans. Count me in.
They had to take me to the ER because I got a concussion in a parking garage. Not partying with lesbians for a while
Is it too soon for me to wonder what sex with him would be like?
Dude what is wrong with me. I'm like a strong independent woman and shit.
ive started thanking my toys after masturbating. might be time to get some fuck boys
If one more dude who finds out I'm a cop asks to see me in uniform I'm gonna become asexual
I woke up to a bum peeing outside my window, and he said, "This is embarrassing for you."
Randomize
