In line at the arbys drive thru on foot. Legendary.
he shattered multiple jars of jelly against his roommates doors last night. this morning the asian one wouldn't even talk to him because he thought he was gonna get beaten up
I just remembered yelling "they're gonna let me be a lawyer! Me! Why would they do that?"
Mother nature decided I wasn't going to be a whore today. Fuck her.
My poo smells like dog food. That's how I know it was a good night.
I wish there was a lawn mower version of Roomba so I could just drink and cheer it on from the stoop.
This is great- I found hangover detoxifying bath salt online. It flushes out the alcohol. We need this.
Note to self: You can't deep fry cheese-its.
Listen man this isn't about soccer. It's about America and day drinking... Your two favorite things now get your ass over here
No just sleep deprived. James woke me up at 7 and forced me to eat a hot pocket with him cause he " didn't want me to die".
I took the weekend off because he and I were supposed to go to Vegas for our anniversary and get a hooker remember?
Ah, yes. Who says romance is dead?
SHUN THE NONBELIEVERS. THUS SAYS THE NIPPLE LORD
So baked. About to eat a calzone then hate fuck this guy.
THAT'S MY GIRL
Remember last NYE when after the 9th shot of tequila you went on full crazy mode and made out with the 50 y/o doorkeeper? and he called you the next day?
girls shouldnt black out with american flag bandaids on their nips
Randomize
