She's like the female version of the Momento guy. She keeps forgetting that I'm an asshole after we have sex.
normal stoners make pot brownies. gay stoners make pot chocolate covered cherries on a cinnamon graham cracker crust which by the way are very effective.
I was so high i started crying when i saw how much puppychow was there.
He told me I couldn't drink an unopened bottle of water he had in his room because that was his emergency bong water
he/she has shaved legs and makeup on. but a spare tire stomach, high socks with high heels...a wig and glasses. and still talked like a man. it was a nightmare scenario
This might sound awkward, but can I borrow a dildo for class?
We should celebrate the resignation of Berlusconi tonight with too many bottles of wine and sambuca. We're allies, right?
His lack of social graces and moral fiber complements mine nicely.
I think the Predator is hunting me in my house. If I don't text you later, send Danny Glover. I love you all.
You're a five foot adderall and caffeine fueled ball of sexual frustration and suppressed rage. It's only a matter of time before you snap. We're taking bets on when.
You just sat there for two solid hours staring at your monitor and every five minutes screamed "LEGOOOOOS"
Definitely just poured my beer into a McDonald's cup so I could walk through Walmart without judgment. 'Murica.
Yes. I'm realizing that sports games are good reasons to drink. I just cheer when everyone else cheers.
I'm with the cops, Trish's gay husband stabbed himself and is framing her for attempt of murder and I'm dressed 4 the club I'm wearing leather pants leather jacket leather boots and black club top. Embarrassed
If he ever pulls my hair again, I'm going to conveniently have lock jaw. Then he can decide whether pain during sex is still fucking appealing.
Randomize
