**** and his GF asked me to give his stuff back, and they would give me a 100. HA, they dont know I have it to charity haha
I've decided that I only have enough money to either eat or drink over the next month. I'm sure you know what choice I've made.
So how gross is it that Woopie Goldberg has a vagina? She's like the exact opposite of a boner....
the problem with open bar is i never know what to get
did you really just start a sentence with "the problem with open bar is..."
she's using motion activated glade air fresheners as some sort of early warning system
that's why you don't digest questionable powders from girls wearing tutus at a dirty club
It's never too late to be topless.
80% sure the drag queens carried her home
I bought a box of wine on my way home. I figured if I’m going to be broke during the holidays, I might as well be able to drink about it.
I've had your balls on my face a bunch of times so the least you could do is buy a girl some dinner.
fuck you
also please return my underwear, they were one of my favourite pairs xo
I shouldn't have to tell you to stop throwing knives at me.
I'm drunk but I just ate 2 heads of broccoli so does that mean it evens out?
Yes absolutlely
Im so drunk and the cops showed up so i ran on all 4's through the woods because i had no shoes hoping they would mistake me for a fox
really enjoying the fact I don't remember how the staff party ended. feel like I need to shame drink today
feel at noon?
Randomize
