ready 4 sex 2nite?
wow. woo me matt, woo me.
Dude I just witnessed a midget touching himself and singing the chorus to somebodys watching me by michael jackson... it kinda turned me on
apparently when i got back to tyler's i layed face down on the bed and yelled "don't hurt my asshole!"
Making my coffee at work this morning let out a jack daniels fark. Turn around and see the quiet guy making his breakfast
Hold on im havin a staring contest with my cat
The crowning achievement of my weekend was hooking up with someone I'm at least facebook friends with.
Ah, I knew it wouldn't be long before my boobs were introduced into the conversation.
Most eventful shower ever. Jacked off, peed and puked in there.
She's walking around topless with a bottle of red wine, crying and singing showtune ballads. This is actually an improvement.
I mean I don't object to weird looking penis as long as it gets the job done. I just need to get it in. I'm gonna be humping chairs soon.
Let us rub each other in fish scales and become mermaids
YALL MOTHERFUCKERS WANNA WATCH HEAVY METAL AND SMOKE WEED AND PLAY POOL AND DRINK BEER AND SMOKE WEED
I'm setting goals and achieving them. I'd say I'm quite mature for my age.
You're goal was to fuck him and you don't even remember it.
I think the cop who arrested me yesterday is at my gym rn should I say hi
I put on a face mask and masturbated for an hour... my face now has a green tint
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