The homeless ppl in LA are great. Theres sum guy that makes all of his clothes out of tighty whitey underwear. He makes bags out of them 2. Presumably 2 hold more underwear.
Shark Week. Kick off begins Sunday. The drinking game has been upgraded to include jumping/breaching sharks and Jake's not allowed to bring the harpoon. Period.
she's walking down the hall in a thong and one flip flop and one ugg
2 rounds of irish car bombs have already been taken to your 5 year sober anniversary
It's the first day of summer. It's not a race it's a marathon. Pace yourself
Look, as a friend I'm asking to see a picture of his tiny dick
I flossed his teeth and then we had sex in the bathroom. It just seemed like a good idea.
This girl came outta nowhere yelling HOLD MY DICKKKKKK!
You guys bombarded us in the bathroom and that kid whipped his dick out and peed in the sink.
Red flag bro. Her only friends are barflys and a teen with a fake ID
We thought it was a good idea to send a picture to our HS science teacher where she's smoking a joint and I'm holding a monkey, and he invited us to lunch. NEW LEVEL UNLOCKED.
I can't. I'm not drunk enough for this information.
The last thing I searched on my phone was "leave in conditioner on cats." This is where my life is.
This love triangle bullshit is getting out of hand. It's now a love polygon and I want out
I'm sorry I told you to go fuck yourself after you said good morning to me when I was hungover.
I'm actually on the verge of cancelling a booty call because I have an early meeting tomorrow. If this is what adulthood is going to be like, I'll pass.
Randomize
