Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach?
so just incase you wake up on the couch wondering how you got there--you came home at 7am, put ice in a cup--then you proceeded to put the cup in the microwave and melt it because you "wanted water". you then, fell down the stairs while saying "you don't know me" then crawled to the couch.
These guys are walking up and down the hallway yelling, "Yo, is this the floor with the unisex bathroom?"
I think your going to be the cause of an awesome death
my vagina has been out of service for wayy too long... this semester needs to start like right now
im just laying here pukin in my mouth and swallowing it 'cause im WAY too lazy to actually get up and find a place to vomit. this is my life now.
Ran into his mom at the bar, i told her "i know he's married now but I'd still do him"
I'm pretty sure there a million tiny ninjas in my uterus poking me with sticks.
She flashed them and they let her pay with Monopoly money. I'm married, so it is your obligation as my best man to repeatedly fuck her for me
he didn't stitch me up last time. in fact, he yelled at me for bleeding.
Omg drank too much. Threw up in my Santa hat on the train and then of course it leaked all over me.
Getting a UTI was SO NOT on my wishlist for the holidays
One a scale of one to hella drunk, how gracefully can I make it down those stairs
Well you’re enrolled in an Ivy League grad school and I’m currently at a 2 star holiday inn in rural PA so who is really thriving here
I would let him fuck me right here in this laundromat. Praise Satan.
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