I feel like Captain Hook just gave me a pap smear.
Dude. No way. She insults the term butterface. She's a butternothing.
All I wanted was a hug. You dirty, dirty whore.
Just had to find a way to explain to the border patrol that we were coming into canada "for about a half hour to have one last under 21 drink before kendals birthday at midnight." He said ok and told us where the closest bar was. Nice man.
You were being mean. And telling everyone to suck your six inch strap on. People were not pleased
Please be lying.
Im not. Your family was creeped out
I bet his dick wears a tuxedo.
Well I can't go home with anyone tonight bc I stuffed my bra
Well, my eyeball is red and the rest of my eye is black. Oh the joys of drinking with u. PS- I laid in a pile of sawdust. it was ok at the time.
I take to many stalker pics of him. If he ever looks through my phone he'll never give me sex again :(
As a general rule of thumb, I don't call until the claw marks have healed.
So last night I turned down multiple drinks because "I didn't want to hold them". It's time reevaluate my decisions
Maybe snorting K off penises isn't healthy
I think I gave a random lady a dildo
Again?!
I can't come. It's so cold my uterine walls have frozen together like a cherry popsicle.
I have a bag of frozen peas on my vagina. If you want to talk about real problems.
Randomize
