I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
6:33 AM: I'm drunk at this time of morning.
Your tits are I can't wait for
my sister and i are watching a movie and pregaming together. and by pregaming i mean shes not drinking since she 14 and im drinking alone.
Man now I have poo on my blackberry!!!
brownberry?
She vajazzled her vag. It was as useless as putting earrings on chewbacca
I am currently sitting on a candy bar to warm it up cause it was in the fridge so I can eat it while watching the last song and smoking weed by myself
Thanks for making breakfast. I usually have cereal and coffee...but i think margaritas and turkey sandwiches could catch on.
Well if all fails we can always become surrogate mothers. I hear that pays well.
My professor just told me I'm living a lie and I found puke on my pants. How do you think it's going?
My last google search is "how to build a flamethrower"
Your birthday is now over. Your day in the spotlight has dimmed and now you're as special as everyone else. The world goes back to revolving around me. Good night.
I'm trying to get weird tonight. Like I want to see bitches crawling on all fours drinking milk from bowls and shit by 5 am. You down?
I think I gave a random lady a dildo
Again?!
But I don't see you as the jesus riding a dinosaur with a machine gun type of guy
Randomize