This titty bar has wifi. I just did FaceTime stage side
Hey I have your shoes. Do you remember shouting "Police brutality!" when the bouncer was kicking you out last night?
Nothing quite says Coachella like me doing high yoga in the middle of a field by myself
the old man that you threw the shoe at says "hi" and many rude words...
For my birthday I want you to get me in bed with Donald Trump. That is all. You have 3 months
Why yes. I did get laid looking like that. My sheets look like there was a clown orgy
Hearing them have a conversation is like listening to water buffalo have sex. Awkward and scarring.
apparently, dueling with garden tools in Home Depot is strictly frowned upon
I was so gone I thought the cops banging on my door were kids from the party trying to get into my room... needless to say, I started moaning louder so they would take the hint.
I only blacked out one night of three if that isn't fucking personal growth idk what is
I just want some dick and chicken fingers please advise
I dare you to find another dealer that delivers bud to your home along with deep fried vegan burritos
Cause I know you wanna ride the D like a Vespa in ROMAN HOLIDAY
He kept spinning my wedding ring like thanks buddy I remember
I'm in the upstairs bathroom. I went to the bathroom after class and realized this is not a shit I want to have publicly. I ran home. We can go to lunch, just give me a min
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